Morning realities.

 After most good nights there is one thing thats the same. Morning. Happy that I have the chance to see the morning. There were so many nights that the next morning was questionable. Will I still be alive to see the sun again? But the sight of the new day leads to many questions, how will I make it through today? Will I be sick and unable to function? Will I have the money to buy what I need. Will there be anyone to help or to take advantage of to get what my body needs? Seems like the most scary thought is being without. Oh the things I would do to get just one. The friends it takes to to make it in this dog eat dog world of small town drug addiction. Oh and did I mention that I hate people so all day I have to be this fake made up person. My entire friend list on my phone is people that I would never have met or been friends with if it wasn't what they could do for me or what I could get from them. But how many of them would be there for me if I needed help and how many of them would I help if they needed it. But the answer to that question is another question what do they have or will they have that I want and is helping them worth what they have to share? Sounds kinda mean. But that is how it is everyone is doing it to everyone including me. I take it. I give it. All with a fake smile. But who every wears thier fake smile the most believably wins. And I kick ass at being fake. Who am I? I don't even remember her.